Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Having one of THOSE days
I don't know what the heck my problem is today??? I feel like I can't breathe I just wanna cry and the littlest things are making bawl like a baby... I am feeling completely wiped out. No energy what so ever just yuk and ug. I woke up feeling this way I really think its allergies cuz my eyes are just on fire and they where nasty crusty weepy this morning I've been taking my allegra all day but its just not working. I am feeling more and more run down and touchy as they day progresses, I took a shower earlier when I really just wanted to stay in my pajamas and went to Subway for me and Jim for lunch and got a mocha...I have cleaned and done laundry just trying to stay awake and trying to feel better. Nothing is working. Guess I just have to suck it up and except the fact that its just one of THOSE days.
Friday, March 12, 2010
none
Its been almost four months now since my dad passed away. I never stop thinking about him. I dream about him almost every night. We have the greatest conversations.... I know that he is visiting me. I know now that he is proud of me, I also know that some people would say its my own subconcious giving me what I want. My dads approval and love. I think I have always had his love though, and even a grudging repsect from him. Now that he is passed and he knows so much more then he ever could here on earth I know he is proud of me and what I do. Its important. Maybe not here and now, but it is and many will know it. Someday.
In side note to myself I watch 2012 the other night. DAMN! Talk about scary and beautiful. The complete destruction of everything as we know it. It was pretty cool to have it portrayed in a movie. Oh the graphics where absolutely incredible and amazing and beautifully done. I was very impressed with the movie and most of the actors. The storyline however scared the shit out of me. I don't put much faith in the whole 2012 thing, Since the beggining of time the END has been predicted and predicted wrongly. The fact of the matter is is that nothing lasts forever that inludes the planet we live on. And we have no idea when it will expire or how we have no way of stopping it so worrying about it or trying to plan for it seem ridculous to me.
Anyhow on to other stuff, today Tannis and I gave all the doggies baths and put flea stuff on them, we have been doing this once a month to keep the fleas at bay and it is working out pretty well. There are five dogs in this house though and one cat so we need to be doing something. When Jim and I move I am sure we will continue this practice though as we don't want our dogs to be miserable and we do plan on getting at least two more dogs and a cat and a snake and and and sheesh what am I gonna do with him!!!
In side note to myself I watch 2012 the other night. DAMN! Talk about scary and beautiful. The complete destruction of everything as we know it. It was pretty cool to have it portrayed in a movie. Oh the graphics where absolutely incredible and amazing and beautifully done. I was very impressed with the movie and most of the actors. The storyline however scared the shit out of me. I don't put much faith in the whole 2012 thing, Since the beggining of time the END has been predicted and predicted wrongly. The fact of the matter is is that nothing lasts forever that inludes the planet we live on. And we have no idea when it will expire or how we have no way of stopping it so worrying about it or trying to plan for it seem ridculous to me.
Anyhow on to other stuff, today Tannis and I gave all the doggies baths and put flea stuff on them, we have been doing this once a month to keep the fleas at bay and it is working out pretty well. There are five dogs in this house though and one cat so we need to be doing something. When Jim and I move I am sure we will continue this practice though as we don't want our dogs to be miserable and we do plan on getting at least two more dogs and a cat and a snake and and and sheesh what am I gonna do with him!!!
Sunday, March 07, 2010
been quite awhile
Its been too long since I had the oomph to write....Just haven't felt like journaling about the happenings. Dad passed in November a few days before his birthday, My oldest daughter got married almost exactly a month before that, christmas was good it was the first one Jim and I shared. Luna had puppies on Halloween and we got the one that was born on our bed, his name is The Killer Thor Cheech Carson.. Sometimes I say he is feeling the beaner within...and I don't mean that in any racist way what so ever, its just cute when he is jumping like a mexican jumping bean trying to get up on the couch...anyway. Moved out of Tracy's in January and moved in with Dave and Tannis..Its going pretty good but its an adjustment and I sometimes feel like no one sees what I do or appreciates it.. None of them are home all day because they all work and Meme goes to school...SO even though I do the dishes and clean the counters and stove and wiped down the fridge and sweep and soemetimes mop and I do laundry and vaccum and take care of the dogs and the kid and cook dinner and water the plants and take care of Jim. I still get told nothing gets done.Hmmm okay well how bout if I don't do it then. I pay rent I buy food and I pay for laundry soap and ass wipe and dish soap and all that. I am a roommate not a kid. And apparently it is a problem for some people how much time I spend on the internet, who's business is it? My daddy died three months ago and ya know I just don't see him coming back.
Anyway. I bought a car in August and it died in December, just got it over to Jims brother in laws today, and now can get the parts and get it fixed.. I also got a laptop and an ipod touch and spent some money on getting me a bunch of clothes that I desperately needed.. next time around I am getting more clothes and some inkage for me and Jim. And hopefully Amanda.If she straightens out anyway. I can't even go into that right now, even though I am kinda wondering if it would be good to have a record of it all. Then there is the biggest thing this year and thats Sev going in for a four way bi pass at the age of 37, what a scary scary thing, he went in the night before my birthday, ( really glad I celebrated the night before that with family and friends I wouldn't have felt like doing anything after he went in and my friends threw me a fantabulous party I will never forget) He went into Grays Harbor Hospital on Sunday and was transported the first ( monday) to St. Peters in Olympia ( they are awesome) They more testing on Tuesday and found three major blockages one was a main artery and it was 100 percent blocked..the other two were 70 and 90 percent blocked and then there was a smaller one that was almost completely blocked. So they went in Thursday the fourth and did open heart.. Very scary for him and all of us who love him, I stayed here with Meme. I just couldn't sit there and not do anything, I couldn't see him like that. So I watched meme so that Dave and Tannis could be with Sev. And thrusday while he was in surgery and meme was in school my friend Bridget got me out of the house and went shopping. That was wonderful! Sev made it out of surgery with flying colors and looks absolutely fantastic. I have quite smoking again because of it. I do not want my brother sitting next to my hospital bed!! I will do everything I can to prevent it, it runs in the family so I better do a lot. If it happens anyway I will know its because its genetical and not because I was dumb. All though Ihave been dumb for a long long time about my health. I can't and won't do that anymore. I have to try.
Anyway. I bought a car in August and it died in December, just got it over to Jims brother in laws today, and now can get the parts and get it fixed.. I also got a laptop and an ipod touch and spent some money on getting me a bunch of clothes that I desperately needed.. next time around I am getting more clothes and some inkage for me and Jim. And hopefully Amanda.If she straightens out anyway. I can't even go into that right now, even though I am kinda wondering if it would be good to have a record of it all. Then there is the biggest thing this year and thats Sev going in for a four way bi pass at the age of 37, what a scary scary thing, he went in the night before my birthday, ( really glad I celebrated the night before that with family and friends I wouldn't have felt like doing anything after he went in and my friends threw me a fantabulous party I will never forget) He went into Grays Harbor Hospital on Sunday and was transported the first ( monday) to St. Peters in Olympia ( they are awesome) They more testing on Tuesday and found three major blockages one was a main artery and it was 100 percent blocked..the other two were 70 and 90 percent blocked and then there was a smaller one that was almost completely blocked. So they went in Thursday the fourth and did open heart.. Very scary for him and all of us who love him, I stayed here with Meme. I just couldn't sit there and not do anything, I couldn't see him like that. So I watched meme so that Dave and Tannis could be with Sev. And thrusday while he was in surgery and meme was in school my friend Bridget got me out of the house and went shopping. That was wonderful! Sev made it out of surgery with flying colors and looks absolutely fantastic. I have quite smoking again because of it. I do not want my brother sitting next to my hospital bed!! I will do everything I can to prevent it, it runs in the family so I better do a lot. If it happens anyway I will know its because its genetical and not because I was dumb. All though Ihave been dumb for a long long time about my health. I can't and won't do that anymore. I have to try.