Monday, August 28, 2006

I earned my bitch certificate!

Okay heres the scoop on that.
I called Billy's P.O. and told her where she could find Billy. Gave her the address and everything. I know I am evil and will rot in hell. O well at least I will be surrounded by friends in a place I don't believe exists.
Anyway, Last night Billy tried to call collect. So I called the hotel wondering what the fuck he wanted. Well the guy at the front dest informed me that he hadn't seen anyone for a few days. I said well Where's Billy he tried to call me collect last night. And the guy said " He got picked up."
Oh okay well that makes sense to me. Thanks. Then I asked about the woman he had been staying with. And dude told me that she took off with Billy's friend Elmer!!!! HA HA HA!!
I love it. He got thrown in the clink and lost his new girlfriend to another man. A man that was his friend!!!!! I love it. God Karma is soooo fabulous. No before ya ll lecture me that karma can bite me in the ass too for telling his P.O. Where to find him. No. It was tough love and major concern for his life that really made me call. Everytime he smoked that crack he was taking his life in his hands. And he was making terrible choices that weren't just hurting him but also me and my kids. Most importantly my kids. SO anyhow. He was either trying to call to tell me what a bitch I am or he was calling to apologize because his head is free of his ass. Or maybe he wants me to try to bail him out. Sorry Dude I'm broke. I am a bitch so no news there. And I hope to god his head is free of his ass because he owes me and my children an apology. He tried to call several more times today but there is some weird deal about calls from jails now. You have to pre pay for them or some stupid shit. Sorry ain't happenin. Try from somewhere else or write me a freeking letter. I am a bit surprised he bothered to memorize the number here though.
And a little afraid that he might have memorized the address. Derek will kick his ass if he shows up. Which would be wonderful and horrible all at the same time.
C- I would love to read your blog too. Could I have the link or would you really prefer to be anonymous???

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


The link to the al anon words should be read by all. Thankyou Barbara for sending that to me. All I can say is wow. Wow . Wow.
Another wow goes to being found by my sister. Vicki Ann Toria. I LOVE YOU VIC!!!
I am a little surprised to be found like that. And a little scared. But at least it was my sister!
And C, I don't know who you are. I wish I did know who you where. You are welcome here anytime and I hope that sometime you might let me know who are you. I have a feeling I do know you though.
Jac you are right. I am not trash. Deni, Thankyou. Thankyou all who have replied to my last post. I need to know that people care and feel some love right now. Wanda has been helping me a lot too. I see her at myspace and we talked on the phone. Derek has been super supportive and my moo also. I talked her ear off for two hours last night. And she patiently listend as I ranted and raved and repeated myself twelve million times.
I am doing suprisingly well with this. The kids are shattered. And that shatters me.
Billy didn't surprise me. I knew this was going to happen. I just knew. I wanted to make him leave months ago but didn't because my kids loved him and I didn't want to hurt them.
I loved Billy. I really did. But he was always lying and I believe cheating before we even left Washington. Why do I make these choices. Even after eight years of being so careful about dating and being single for a reason. I still chose to let in the wrong person. Maybe I need to go to al anon. Seems like a great and enlightning place to go.

At least I have a job here and a place to live for as long as I need it. Hopefully around the first I will even be getting a car!
I plan on going back to Washington in about a year. Although I have been seriously considering Montana. Lynn seems fascinated with Montana. And I always have been. Its something to think about. In moving here I have been freed. I realize I can live anywhere and do anything and be who I am. No matter what anybody thinks.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Pissed off and Broken Hearted and REALLY PISSED OFF

William Backus is a FUCK. He didn't even have enough balls or respect for me to call me and let me know he was done with us. Instead I call him and his GIRLFRIEND answers the phone. She was quite pissed off when I told her who I was. Then she told me who she was. She is still with him in HER hotel room in Cave City Kentucky. He is using her for a roof over his head and a fuck when he feels like it. Money, and Dope. Yes he started smoking crack again. He is such a fucking BASTARD. My children are so hurt by this. He PROMISED them that he was never going to go away. He SWORE to them that he was going to get us a place and he was going to make sure we all got back in the same place again. He promised that he would make sure they could have a dog. He SWORE to them that he was not a dad who was going to abandon them.
His new unsuspecting lady made him get on the phone. He told me to LEAVE HIM ALONE. And hung up the phone. Okay buddy. You want to cheat on me and lie to everyone and be fucked up on drugs. You want me to leave you alone. You want space to fuck up your life. CHOKE ON IT. I HATE MEN.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

We made it!!

Well we have moved to Mississippi. We left Everett on the first of august and arrived here on the fourth. We are still stiff and tired and sore and I think we are all coming down with a cold or something. but after being in so many places and around so many people it is expected. I had a new and take the cake kind of em bare assing moment.Somewhere in Idaho I ripped out the seat of my jeans and didn't know it until somewhere in Texas. I wasn't able to change until Dallas. Somewhere in Texas I had actually bent over at the front of the line in front of three lines of people to get the tickets out of my purse. So about three hundred people saw everything god gave me. Ug!
I didn't even know! I figured it out in Amarillo that something was wrong because this mexican guy was always behind me no matter what I did. Then another guy joined him. And a group of guys gave me this " how much" look.. I felt the back of pants but didn't feel anything wrong. When we were getting off the bus in Houston I felt again and the entire butt of my jeans was almost gone!! after I changed this guy that rode with us from Everett says to me." so you figured it out huh" I said " why didn't you say something!!!?"
He said " well actually I was kinda enjoying the view" SHEESH!
Not one person said anything to me!! NOT ONE!!
Anyway we made it hear and Billy is in Kentucky trying to get his pilot car license so he can help his friend deliver houses. So eventually we are moving to Kentucky or possibly Alabama.I don't know. I might just stay right here with my very best friend in the entire world. Derek. He found out what was going on in Washington and decided the girls and I needed to come here. So here we are.