Daddy

So many wonderful memories,


So many words to say,

There isn't enough paper,

Theres not a long enough day.



You where an awesome dad,

Quite a funny guy,

With many friends who loved you,

And deep family ties.



A tug boat captain extrodinaire,

Seaweasel you went by,

A volunteer fireman also,

A hero, always in my eyes.



You where my superman,

My big ol man oh daddy,

The jokester and the ham,

The cooker of many crabbies.



You will amuse the angels now,

Tarnish all their halo's

Dirty up their snow white wings,

With all your colorful tale'os.



I know you are at peace now,

PLaying with your Tupie man,

A blind man with a glass eye in

his ass could see how that is grand.



So many people here will miss you,

Especially your children and your wife,

You had so many adventures

Trully enjoyed and lived your life.



We thankyou so much for

all that you taught us and all that you gave,

All our lives are richer because

with you we spent our days.



I love you so much daddy,

I miss you so bad,

I'm so lucky to have been your kid,

I don't think I've ever been so sad.





Say hello to all the folks,

over there on the other side,

Its been one helluva adventure,

Quite and Awwwwesome ride!





DJBY

hours

There are only a matter of minutes or hours left to my daddy's life. I am sometimes numb and sometimes I can't stop crying. I got to hear him tell me he loved me a few weeks ago. And now he is at the end of his life.
He had a wonderful long life full of adventures and friends. He married my mom and they had many happy years together and many adventures. He was very active playing golf, fishing, clam digging, going on trips to neat places, they where snow birds every year for the last 15 or so. He was a tug boat captain with a tug boat captains mouth! No one could tell a story like my dad. His eyes would light up and you could tell he was putting himself back into the moment he was speaking of, listeners could almost see what he was describing. And no man was a better clam fritter maker EVER! He so enjoyed time with his friends and family. Gatherings at the cabin and during christmas and just for fun at Kuhnles Tavern or Vi and Glenns. He will be missed by all he leaves behind, but has a wondeful big group already waiting for him on the other side.
There is gonna be one heaven of a party, the biggest bestest party Heaven has ever seen!!
I love you daddy.....

Buying a house

Okay so we are going to start looking into buying a house and looking around....How nervous am I!!!
Buying a house with someone is a HUGE commitment, not only to each other but also the house. We know what we want so that will make things easier and have agreed that if our relationship doesn't work out we will always be friends and can live together happily enough. I am not sure how that would work if we split up and brought in new relationships but as adults I am sure we could figure it out. We aren't unreasonable. Totally.
I just hope that our relationship works out the way we both want it to and that things go at least semi smoothly. I am very nervous about buying a house however for reasons other then the relationship. As anyone who has ever read my blog knows, I am a gypsy heart and soul, I like to travel and move around and enjoy new experiences. Can't do a lot of that if I make the commitment with Jim to purchase a home. I will need to be around to do the housely things and help pay bills and I am sure he would not appreciate it if I just took off and did my own gypsy thing for any amount of time over a week....Soooo scared and yet excited at the same time.

LOG

Went and saw my dad yesterday at the nursing home. He looked so much better then the last time I saw him. I think they had him over medicated at the last place. Yesterday he was quite alert and talking and being his funny self. He doesn't make sense anymore. But thats okay, he seemed to recognize me for a second, introduced to me to the room...there was no one else there. He kept calling Jim " Barclay". We don't know which Barclay he meant but thats all right. Saw my mom and Vicki there too, that was awesome. Got some hugs thats was even awesomer...is that a world? Anyway going again today to feed him lunch. It was a good thing to go. I don't want to remember him this way, but I have to remember that these won't be my only memories of him...

In other news, having some communication issues with Jim,. I just don't know how to get through to that guy. Its been a little tense the last few days. But I still love him very much and hope to keep him around a good long time.

Thoughts

Well its been interesting getting to know Jim all over again. Its been fun and scary. I am so much in love with him and yet I know I need to guard my heart if I am a smart girl. He is just coming out of a very bad marriage and is gun shy. We really didn't intend for this to happen so fast like this. Just can't seem to control how close we feel. He really didn't want to jump out of the pot and into the fire. I told him to think of me as a cool glass a water instead. I am having a hard time with all the woman he talks to, if they where just friends I wouldn't have a problem with it,. but these are women who are sending him gifts and mooshy cards and want down his pants. These are women who are out to get him and he loves the attention so keeps it going.. Whatever, I don't fucking like it and no one said I had too. I gotta say as much as I love him and want him in my life I don't want to feel used either, or like chopped liver. I don't know if I can do this. Its just not working.

Goodbye Sweet Prince

Dedicated in the Memory of a Star...
He wasn't just a movie star, or a great dancer, he was a star in his personal life too.
He wasn't just a man who could move and act, but a man with class and tact.
He wasn't just a figure on the silver screen, but a man who treated his wife as a queen.
Patrick Swayze will be missed by family, friends and fans alike.
A man with passion and love for all in life.

Poem

Riding the drama train,
Its a fancy trip to nowhere,
Don't get nothin done,
Unwound, Unbound,
Tie me up, tie me down,
Take a walk on the sin trail,
Makes ya strong,
Can't fail,
Gettin sick on this coaster ride,
They call it life,
I call it hell.