Thursday, May 02, 2013

The List

The list :
When it comes to relationships I have been in too many that have gone the way of all things named waste. Down the tubes. 
I am 42 I have been married twice, I have been engaged three times. I have had many short lived long term relationships, I say that because in my mind it was and still is a forever kind of love with two gentlemen who will remain unnamed. I will always love them. No matter where I am, who I am with, or where I go in life. The most recent of these has absolutely devastated my soul. I am very done with that kind of thing happening. Even though I loved the men in these relationships with all my heart, I realized something very important in retrospect. I was settling. Sometimes in several small ways, sometimes in hugely massive epic ways. We are talking HUGE. HUUUUGE ways in some instances. I was accepting less then what I really really wanted. So far you can easily see from this post already that that method has not worked out for me in any way shape or form, So it is now time for me to make a list ( which often does work for me in other aspects of my life ) which I shall stick to religiously and will accept nothing less then what I really truly want in a relationship. 
I am going to be very honest with myself and the universe about what I want. It is the only way to attract what I want. Be real, attract real man. ( I totally said that in my best cave woman voice.) Sooo, I have thought about these things for a very long time, I have learned through experience what I want and do not want in a relationship. What I will accept and will not accept .
Here it is. The List. 

1) Must be gainfully employed or comfortably retired and capable of taking care of himself and spoiling me with random gifts of flowers and occasional dinners and special weekend get aways.

2) Must want to travel the world and our wonderful country.
3) Must be drug free, marijuana is not a drug in my book so weed is okay
4) Must not be an alcoholic
5) Must be spiritual in nature
6) Must love animals
7) Must be kind, considerate, and loving
8) Must be communicative in words and actions
9) Must be honest and faithful
10) Must be open minded
11) Must be willing and able and desire to be my best friend, confidante, and equal partner
12) Must be weird and yet sane too
13) Must love me for me
14) Must be loving and accepting of my kids and grand kids
15) Will love to go on adventures with me and my friends and family
16) Absolutely must be family oriented
17) Will want me to meet all his friends and family
18) Will expect me to be as open and honest as I am
19) Will have respect for himself and for me
20) Will love himself and me
21) He will own a Harley
22) He will be at least 6'4 and wide shouldered 
23) He will be well groomed, clean, and fresh
24) He will be active and not a gamer!
25) He will love to go hiking, fishing, camping, hunting, swimming and horseback riding
26) He will know what it entails to cherish me and will do it, he will accept my cherishment of him 
21) He will understand that women want to take care of their men and he will let me do it and love it
22) He will be an equal partner in all ways
23) He will not be interested in any woman but me
24) He will not be in to porn
25) He will not be a know it all
26) He will not be rude to me or to anyone else
27) He will not be a big on cologne
28) He will be passionate
29) His sexual appetite will be voracious and adventurous and a bit kinky
30) He will be tattooed and will love mine and we will get many more through out our lives
31) He will love all kinds of music
32) He will appreciate an ice cold beer now and then
33) He will know how to cook and love doing it, especially for me
34) He will like rubbing my shoulders, neck, back, legs, hips, feet, everything
35) He will want to plaster pics of us and all the fun things we do together all over his social media websites
36) He will want to get married some day
37) He will not be afraid of love and will not run away from it
38) He will be man enough to handle my deep affections and will return them just as avidly
39) He will love seafood and hate mushrooms
40 ) He will love to have deep conversations with me about life, love, music, history, anything and everything and will not get upset if/when I am right about things, or know something more about a subject then he does.
41) He will love all the special holidays, my birthday, his birthday, our anniversaries, valentines, mothers day, fathers day. he will want to celebrate them and make them special for both of us
42) He will enjoy going grocery shopping with me and to Value Village
43) He will encourage me to go out into the world more
44) He will appreciate the fact that I do not want to be around him 24/7 he will have a life outside of "us". as will I. IE guys day/night.. girls day/night. / weekends. Example he will go one way I will go another and we will meet up later
45) He will not have trust issues
46) He will be a good friend to his friends
47) He will take care of family
48) He will have people in his life that he has known for most of his life and has never caused deliberate harm to.
49) He will enjoy reading
50) He will enjoy gardening and yard work and want to do it all. 
51) He will understand my deep loathing of taking out the garbage and make sure I never ever have to do it. And I shall in return understand his deep loathing of dusting or scrubbing the tub or what ever and make sure he never ever has to do it.
52) He will not smoke!!!!!!!! 
53) He will be romantic and will surprise me with sweet romantic things often, but not too often
54) He will understand my need for air flow ( fan ) and will not ever turn it off
55) He will never feel embarrassed to be with me, no matter what his friends think of me and he will never ever feel the need to hide me from anyone EVER
56) He will do significant things daily that let me know he loves me. Clarify: significant to me.
57) He will be my very best friend I will be his and no one will no us better then we know each other because we talk constantly
58) He will be so sweet to me that other people get cavities when they are around us
59) He will be as touchy feely towards me as I am towards him, which is a lot
60) He will love houseplants
61) He will love to try new things
62) He will not be afraid to go skinny dipping and shall know of some great spots to do just that
63)He will post wonderful things to me on facebook so that all my friends and family can see how much he loves me  ( I know how that sounds, but I have my reasons )
64) He will be very protective of me, but not in a creepy possessive type of way
65) He will be a big strong man with gentle loving hands
66) animals must love him
67) He will see right through certain people in my life
68) He will always have my back, and will know without doubt that I will have his
69) He will be trustworthy
70) He will be financially savvy
71) He will be an Alpha male with a deep understanding of what it means to be with an alpha female. He will know what that sentence means.
72) He will be a positive person 
73) It will be perfectly wonderful for us to have differing opinions
74) He will be so amazing and awesome that all my male friends will respect him and want to be his friend too
75) He will understand my friendship with Derek and he will respect it
  I do not know if this is finished, I reserve the right to add, subtract and or alter in any fashion I choose. 

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