Sunday, June 25, 2006

First real post

Okay ladies and gentlemen,
This is how its been for my family the last two months.
My puter went up in smoke. LITERALLY, It made veronicas smoke alarms go off because it was on fire!!!
I lost internet anyway so it didn't do me anygood to have a computer.
So I just need a new tower and all that goes in it and I will have my own again.
We were evicted because we weren't able to pay our rent. 650.00 a month is a lot when your total income is only 640.00 a month. Billy was having a bad spell because of the weather. You cannot polish properly in the rain. It just doesn't work. So anyway, any sunny day that did come along he was out there making money, but polishing trucks isn't always reliable income. So very little was made and the rent didn't get paid all the way.....
So then the day after we find out we have to move, our car breaks down. The tranny went and kicked the bucket. So we traded it for a dumpy truck. Not even a month later the trucks axel something or other came apart and the left front wheel started to fall of. So no more truck. Luckily we were at my sisters by this time. Where we stayed for three weeks. She was reluctant to let us stay there and she thought about it alot. But when she found out that we were trying to figure out where we were going after two nights in a hotel. She decided that we could stay there for a week and after that week we would talk about another week. She didn't make the offer based on how many times her and Dave and the kids lived with me, or how I supported them for months on end. Over and Over and Over and Over again. She made the decision based on the fact that she felt sorry for me that I had screwed up my life and she couldn't fix it for me but she wanted to help some how. This kinda ticks me off.
from 1992 to 2000 Dave or Tannis or both of them and Rc. or all of them including mimi have stayed with me off and on for no less then three months and as long as a year and half for Dave. Dave is now with Tannis obviously.
They feel that we are even some how. Even though they still owe me a lot of money for those times. I have never mentioned it to them. Even when I have borrowed twenty bucks and pay it back right away. I don't mention the thousands of dollars I spent taking care of all of them. When they borrow money from me, they pay it back now. Now that they can. But the past is the past they say, and they don't want to discuss it. They feel that Dave buying cigarettes on the weekends and Tannis getting a gallon of milk or two is taking care of themselves in the past. I don't understand how they can think the way they do. I havn't even added it all up. I stopped trying to add it up when I got to five thousand dollars and wasn't even half way through the bills from the past when they lived with me. I won't mention it either. I don't expect anything from my sister. Or from Dave. I take that back. I expect RESPECT.
Even now when I am going through a very rough time. A very challenging time.
I don't expect anyone to help me get through this and set things right again.
Only I can do that. Only me and Billy working together can get us back on our feet. But to be disrespectful to me when I am down. Thats just low. I know I haven't explained that part yet. I will . RIght now I just need to go smoke a cigarette. Yes I am still smoking. And Yes I am planning on Quitting. Next Saturday the first is my quit day. Wish me luck I'm gonna need it!!!!
More tomarrow on where The Queen has been and what The Queen has been up to. And dang tooting I'm still The Queen. I'm just slightly displaced at the moment:)

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