Friday, July 31, 2009
The one thing I can't handle is being judged about my parenting. I just can't take it. Anyone wants to know how to piss me off quick fast and in a hurry....judge me on my parenting. You will have a fight on your hands. I am so very very angry right now. Its better if I don't speak out loud. So I am writing it out. This may be an appearing disapearing post. I am so very very very upset. I can't believe what was just said to me. I know most people would dismiss it off hand. But being a mom is very personal to me. It shatters my soul when someone thinks I am bad at it. I know, I know, people can only effect me in the way I allow. I just can't seem to help it on this score. Especially coming from someone who has no room what so ever to say anything to me. I don't beat my kids. I don't make them bleed and I don't have to get them ice packs when I'm done punishing them. Don't tell me I am ignoring my kids! I don't hide from them as much as I can. My kids may not live with me every day. I may only get them for a month. But I am not ignoring them. I am allowed to have privacy while they are here with me. I am allowed to still be an adult and to still need a moment to myself. Even if that moment is an hour. I asked my kids if they felt ignored and they said no. Thats good enough for me. BUT. The fact that someone is judging me just makes me so mad. I work very very hard at not judging people. Seeing people really for who they are sure. Wether that is good or bad. And I accept them good bad and indifferent. Choices they make aren't always good and aren't neccasarily choices I would make. But thats one of the greatest gifts of being human. We don't all think or act or believe the same exact things. I don't feel its right to smack my kids so I don't. I don't feel its right to scream terrible things at them so I don't. I feel its best f0r them to live with their dad now, so they do. He doesn't beat them either. My kids and I have been through a lot together and we know the score. Don't judge me. Ask me, if you have questions. But do not judge me.