Thursday, September 28, 2006


HOME AGAIN!!!! It is so good to be here! Yesterday Jen and I took Pan to Anecortes and got everything in order for her to live with my friends and enroll in school. This way she doesn't have to change schools again this year. Here in about a week and a half Bellie and Lynn will be going to live with their dad. They are VERY excited about this and I am excited for them. They will be staying with him for this school year and then they will all be coming to me in Montana. I don't want them to have to change schools again this year when I go to Montana so thought it best for them to be with others while I get the stability they deserve. I am not the most stable parent right now and that drives me crazy to say that. But its the truth. I can't bring my kids along on anymore rollercoaster life rides. They deserve to have stability. By the time summer rolls around again I will have it in spades. I know that not everyone is supportive of my choices, but the fact is is that I don't need anyone to support my decisions when I KNOW I am on the right track. I am finally going to go down the right path in my life and live my dreams. I know that when I do that I will have the stability and the life that I need and my children need. I am taking this time to correct my life. I really don't care if others understand this or not. My kids are the most important thing in my life. They always have been. I have always listend to everyone but ME. It is HIGH time to listen to my inner voice as I have always told others to do. It is time for me to follow my heart. I have always listend to others and gone down the paths they thought I should go down. I have always listend to people tell me not to go anywhere. That I couldn't go anywhere. That I would never accomplish anything. That I am a loser and an asshole. To those people I say shut up! I will no longer listen to your deregatory descriptions of me. I am a divine spark of God and Goddess and I have a purpose in this life. I have denied that purpose long enough. I have trully fucked up my life and the lives of my children by denying my true path. I refuse to do that anymore. I have suffered with depression and guilt because I have denied my heart its true desires, again I refuse to do that anymore. I am going to fix this. I am going to make my dreams a reality. I am going to make my life happen for me. I am tired of being put down. I will not be silent anymore. My true self is reemerging and I don't care who likes it and who does't. If there are folks out there who know me and they don't like what they see now I just don't know what to say. I am going to be me. Either you will except it or you won't. Love me or hate me. You will never forget me.
Great love to all.
Blessed Be

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