Saturday, September 30, 2006

Reasons For Going To Montana

I want to go to school there. There is no one there that I know at the moment. I told Billy in a letter that that is where I want to go. He said he would go there too. So some one will be there. Jen might or might not go with me. She is having a hard time making up her mind on exactly how she feels about Chad and there whole relationship.
I don't care if she goes or not. I don't care if Billy goes or not. I am going there FOR ME.
For some people this seems difficult to grasp. Which is surprising to me. But hey thats there problem not mine. I want to go to Montana to go to school and to do Animal Massage Therapy.
I have a lot of plans under my hat and many achievable dreams to make come true. Afraid? Sure who wouldn't be. There are things that scare me. Being so far away from my kids for one. But a helluva lot closer then Ms ! Being by myself in an unknown place. The responsibilities coming my way. The changes coming my way that I am bringing on myself! All of those things are scary. But they are worth facing! And I won't be so far from my kids that I couldn't get to them. They will be with me again soon. And we will all have had some neat experiences to share with eachother. I don't really want to leave Pan here but she doesn't want to go with me. She is finally back in school again and I don't want to make her change schools for a third time. Belle and Lynn are excited about Oregon. They haven't seen there dad in almost two years. They haven't seen There Grandma or great grandma in much longer then that. Or that Aunt Kimmie.
And again I don't want them to have to change schools again this year either. They have traveled about the country enough this year and need to be stable so they can go to school.
I am afraid of leaving them with there dad. That scares me to death. BUT he is their father and he does need to see them and they need to spend time with him too. Okay I feel I have explained myself quite enough when I really have no need to do that. SO I will not be doing that anymore after today either. This blog is going to become my Journal about my life changing because I am making it change. It is no longer going to be the journal of a loser.

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