I have wanted to live Montana my entire life. I have no idea why. Especially with the winters the way they are and the fact that I get very depressed sometimes especially in the winter. So I have decided to compromise with myself. I am going to move to Oregon I think. Where the girls father lives. Amandas father also lives in Oregon, although I think he still lives on the coast. Anyway, If I move closer to Jason then my kids will have both their parents around them all the time. And if Billy wants to he can come to me there. Until then I am not going anywhere for that man any more. Too much has happend and my life has been shattered into too many pieces. And I really think he had something when he said he wasn't the one for me and the kids because his life is too much of a mess. His life is too much of a mess and he has no intentions on fixing it that I can see or have seen. So the next time I talk to him. If he even calls me. I am going to let him know. I am done. I can't do this anymore I can't feel this way anymore. And I need stability as much as my children do. And really he does too. I will tell him that if he wants to come to Oregon he is more then welcome. And if not then we will always be friends. I will love him for the rest of my life and I hope that he gets a brain in his head and decides to come to Oregon. I will be working on getting myself there.
In the meantime I am going to be posting as often as I can because It makes me feel better, think better and because I can.
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