Wednesday, March 02, 2005

The best gift for my birthday came straight from god, disguised as the return of my temporarily missing youngest daughter

Yesterday my birthday was going pretty good, nothing exciting happend, until the kids got home from school. all was normal, until about 5:00. Lynie, my youngest daughter who is 8 got some money in the mail from Grandma. She was excited about this and wanted to tell her sisters who were out gathering donations for the JUMP ROPE FOR HEART thing. I told her she needed to wait and that they would be back soon. So she asked if she could go outside and jump rope. No problem just stay in the yard I said. I was sitting in my living room reading a magazine in such a spot that all I had to do was glance up and I could see her. I did this and began reading again. Then I got this funny feeling in the back of my head and I turned around to look at lynie.
There was NO lynie. Her jump rope was laying in the yard at the end of the driveway. So I went out to the end of the driveway and called for her. And looked for her and she was NO FUCKING WHERE! I didn't panic then I thought okay she saw her sisters down the road and ran off to where ever they are. I couldn't see them on the road and figured they where up at some ones door seeking donations. So I got in my car and headed down the road. NO KIDS! So I went the other way. Again, NO KIDS. So I headed the other way again, this time I saw my two oldest, Well I went flying down the street towards them and asked them had they seen lyn. Neither had, okay I thought , she got money from gram she walked her happy ass the three blocks to the shell to get some candy or something.So I drove down there and had Pan go in to check to see if she was in there or if she had been seen by the clerk who knows us as we go in there frequently. No Lynie, so we drive several blocks to Jack in the Box as it is one of Lyns favs and she knows how to get there.
No Lynie. By this time I have called snowvhite on her cell and she is out looking too, Bib is at work and can't leave but is worried. My sister T and her guy and one of my best friends D are basically on there way. I called smeagle and he was more concerned about himself and told me it was risky for him to come look because I was going to call the police to help look and he was afraid he had a warrant. I screamed at him FUCK YOU THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU THIS IS ABOUT OUR DAUGHTER WHO IS EIGHT AND SHE IS NO FUCKING WHERE!
So I panicked and I couldn't breathe and I called the police. They told me I had to go home so the officers could contact me. So I pulled into my driveway and waited in side my house for what seemed like an hour. Then I called 911 again to ask when a fucking officer was gonna get here,. I was told that they where on scene. I screamed into the phone no they aren't there is no cop here. Tell them to fucking get here my baby is GONE! He told me a cruiser was on its way at that three others where already out looking. Then there was cops everywhere and checking all the houses. All I could think about was the fact that a known child rapist had just moved in not two blocks away and that he had her and was doing terrible horrible nightmarish things to my child and that she was screaming for me and I wasn't coming to her rescue.
After almost 2 hours she was found and I thought I was gonna pass out from the relief. When the cruiser showed up and I saw her open the door I felt transported back to reality. like I was floating. The nightmares scurried away into the shadows as I picked her up and breathed in the scent of her hair. All I could do was stand there and hold her, her sisters holding me and her. The four of us as usual against the world. I found my voice hidden under my heart and thanked the police again and again as I carried my treasure and my heart back to the house. I sat us down on the couch and leaned back so I could feel her 51 pounds against me. So I could feel every breath she took. So I would KNOW she was okay. I told her she was grounded, and I held her for an hour or more, I could not let go and she didn't ask me to. We stuck together like glue for the rest of the night. I was nervous watching her get on the bus this morning. I was scared again. But I knew God would bring her home again. He knows my children are my blood, breath, my soul, my life.

No comments: