Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Disapointments and Definitions

Sometimes life is very strange. I got a call last night that the lady I was hired to take care of decided that she was not comfortable with how old I am. In other words I am too young and inexperienced.I totally understand though.I know when I a Doctor walks into my room I expect them to be of a certain age. Right wrong or indifferent that is how I feel. It is easy to understand then that compared to an 87 year old woman. I at 34 am indeed young! Okay I am sorry I just cannot be offended that someone thinks I am young. We will just all forget ( you know feel a fog washing over your memory) that she is 50+ years older then me. ( what was that you said?)
Anyway, I took today to kind of regroup. I am disapointed that things didn't work out. I really enjoyed her company. However I realize that it just means that there is something better out there. Something that I should be doing, somewhere I am meant to be. I need to take care of people in some copacity before I end up taking in every homeless person in the city. I have many places to take my resume tomarrow, along with ten thousand other things to do. Including arranging for someone to send me flowers. Make people around here wonder who I am getting flowers from!!!
I just want to do something to make me feel good about me.
I am so exhausted lately that I am getting blue and lagging in energy reserves. I feel blah, and like I got hit by a truck. I have been researching things to and it has come to my attention that not getting the propper rest causes a person to be more susceptible to stress, which causes more cortisol production, which makes you not sleep, etc etc and its a vicious cycle and I really need some kind of drug to make me sleep because I am getting fatter again. I always wondered why every time I go through a bought of insomnia I gain weight. Now I know. I need drugs, Wanda I believe you will agree with me on that one!
I have alot more to say I just don't have the umph to type it all out.....

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