Monday, April 11, 2005

TIme TIME tiMe

I took some time out today to hang out with friends that I may not see for a very long time. We had a great afternoon and evening. I made my famous taco dip and we played rescue to another friend who had gotten beaten up by her no good ex recently. We all played cupid to hook her up with her other ex who is a golden gift. All went well and the food was delicious, the best part was the company I was keeping! These friends of mine offered to let me move in with them as they don't want me to move so far away. I had to tell them no even though the offer was enticing. I want to go to Florida. I have never been there and want to try this new experience which I feel God is telling me to have.
I believe in going where I am directed. Things tend to go haywire if I don't listen to my higher up!
I am now sitting here at 12:58 a.m. thinking that I am crazy for not being in bed.When in acuallity I wouldn't be sleeping anyway.
I had the unexpected delight of making someones dream come true tonight and I am still warm and fuzzy from that experience. It was lovely to be told that I had helped someone like that. Also surprising! I didn't know I COULD do that!
Anyway, everyone else in the house is sleeping and I really should be too. Its back to the grindstone tomarrow. Kids back to school after a peaceful spring break and me back to sorting and packing after a friend time break.
My sister T is buying my car on Wednesday morning. I don't like the thought of being vehicleless. I did that for a long time and have only had my car for a year and a half. I worked my ass off to get that damn thing! And now I am letting it go so I can travel across country to the unknown. Am I going koo coo or what?! I am so excited about getting to Florida yet the closer the time comes to leave the more I know I am going to miss Washington. I have lived here all my life. When I look to the east I see the Cascades. When I look to the west I see the Olympics. I can go to the rocky beaches and look upon the dark blue waves whenever I want because I know how to get there. I can go to the cabin on Whidbey Island and have fresh crab and clams all day long because I know how to catch them or dig them up and I know how to cook them just right.
I can call up my fishin cousin ( the master Bater) and have fresh Copper River salmon flown to me airmail in less the 24 hours. I can take a 45 minute car ride and drive into downtown Seattle and enjoy the Space Needle and the Aquarium and the Zoo. I can take an hour and 15 minute drive to Tacoma and go to the Dome for a concert. I know where my friends and family live and I can visit them anytime I want. I know where the Safeway is and I go there at least once a day if not three times. I know what to expect from traffic. I know all the cops by name.The kids know where they are and how to get home from just about everywhere in town. Their friends are right here on this block and the next.
I grew up in this house close enough to the freeway that I can hear it as I type. Close enough to the train that I can hear it in my sleep and it comforts me.
And now my children have had the same experience in there lives. My youngest has spent most of her life in this house. She learned to walk here just as I and my sister V did. Just as our father did. Just as our grandfather did.
I am going to miss this house most of all I think. I lived here until I was 7 years old. Then moved in when Lynnie was a baby, moved out and moved back in again when lynnie was three. I married my last husband in this house right here in the livingroom. This livingroom is where I met my baby sister for the first time when she was brought home from the hospital and I have loved her from the first moment I laid three year old eyes on her. Moving away from her is so very hard to do. I climed my first tree in the back field. I picked my first apple off the only apple tree still standing. Gutted my first fish on my grandpas back patio right next door. This is where we had crab feeds and poker parties. bbq's and shindigs. I don't know how I am typing right now with all these damn tears in my eyes. When I am really quite at night sometimes I can hear the laughter of my parents friends resonate softly along the walls. Some of them are gone now and the best memories I have of them are right here in this house. Walking away is the hardest thing I have ever done. Memories are not what is important here. What is important is that I don't forget them as I spread my wings.
Goodbye house, thankyou for all these years of sturdiness in the wind. Creaking floors to comfort me at night. Walls that kept me and mine safe and warm. Windows to look out into the world. Doors to keep out the night.And a spirit of your own which will never die even if you cease to stand.
Thankyou house for absorbing our memories into every bit of your foundation, into every drop of paint we layered on your walls.Into every sliver of your hard wood floors.Thankyou house for loving us just as we have loved you....
I promise I won't forget. No matter how far I go from your loving nest.Thankyou for letting me color your walls with my life.
I love you.

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