Monday, February 14, 2005


Well, today is a better day, I got few hours of sleep and went to physical therapy and got a back rub, I wish I was there for my upper back and shoulders too, I think I will end up having to go back. I have noticed lately that I do not like leaving the house and that I am beggining to have panic attacks just thinking about having to go in public. Is it possible to develop aggoraphobia so late in life????? Just thinking about sitting in traffic or dealing with people anywhere in public makes me feel nervous and gittery and afraid. Just thinking about the fact that I have to leave my home makes me want to crawl back in bed and just stay there until the end of my days.
It hasn't gotten so bad that I do this mind you. I still make myself walk out the door and go wherever I gotta go. I just would rather not and the fear is getting worse by and by.
Not to sure when it started or why, as a matter of fact I just realized it the other day.I realized that whenever I am intending on walking out my front door, my chest gets all heavy and feels constricted and I get a little light headed, and I feel like I am having a heart attack, my palms get all sweaty and I get all shakey. I can't remember feeling like that before...
Anyway, on to better things. I went to a couple of web sites looking for graphics and stuff.
How fun to surf the net looking for stuff, I actually had to put my addled brain to use and man was there smoke!
I have to post a pic after I finish this post.
Bitch in Boots and I were exploring our childhoods yesterday and doodled on yahoo messenger together. We made a cute little pic that I want to share. It reminds me of first grade!!!!!
It was so fun though. Does anyone know of any web sites (free of course) where you can do that.
Make pictures and then be able to save them etc. wouldn't that be neat if there was.
Hmm maybe someone with more ambition then I could start one!!!!!
Anyway, I have to suck it up now and get ready to walk out the door again.
Here comes the shakes, and chest pain....
ARRRRGHGGGGGG. (gosh I like saying that!)
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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